Happy New Year from Restoration Psychology! Per tradition, it is time to think about New Year’s Resolutions. January is the time when gym memberships spike, planners get filled out, and words like discipline, reset, and new me dominate our language. Do you notice how very few of these resolutions last? Have you ever thought about why?
Psychology helps us understand and offers a much more compassionate, effective way forward.
Why Most Resolutions Don’t Stick
1. Motivation Is Unreliable
Did you know that motivation is emotional and fluctuates? Psychology consistently shows that habits, not motivation, drive lasting change. When motivation naturally falls, people assume something is wrong with them rather than with the plan.
2. All‑or‑Nothing Thinking
Many resolutions are built on perfectionistic expectations:
- "I’ll work out every day.”
- "I’ll never eat sugar again.”
- "I’ll be a completely new person.”
From a
cognitive‑behavioral perspective, this creates a setup for failure. One missed day can quickly turn into “I already failed,” leading people to abandon the goal entirely.
3. Outcome‑Focused Goals
Goals like losing weight, being less anxious, or being more productive focus on results rather than process. The brain doesn’t receive consistent reinforcement when the reward feels far away, which makes it harder to stay engaged.
Moving Into the New Year With Gentleness
The goal of the New Year doesn’t have to be transformation, it can be alignment. Give yourself grace when you fail, because those times will come. Sustainable change is rarely loud or dramatic; it’s often quiet, consistent, and compassionate.
If you’re entering this year feeling tired, overwhelmed, or unsure, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It may simply mean your nervous system is asking for care, not correction. Allow yourself time to rest when you need to.
If you’re feeling like you need some extra guidance navigating this new year, we here at Restoration Psychology are ready to rest, walk, or run with you in your journey. Our diverse team of counselors are committed to help you. There is nothing wrong with seeking extra help. Reach out today!