We live in a time when trusting and believing the best about one another seems to be decreasing, along with a waning desire to understand each other. Perhaps this has always been the case throughout history, given our fallen nature as human beings. We are tempted to distrust others and have cynicism about their behavior and motives. Add to these factors a struggle that has certainly been around for the entirety of human history: we struggle to see our own faults and failures and how they affect others around us. As such, we fail to take proper ownership for the damage we do to those around us.
Christian churches are not immune from people who maliciously and callously hurt others, be they pastors, other staff members, or lay people. We might actually have people in community with us whose intentions are bad and harmful, and church leaders should do their due diligence to identify these people. I believe, however, that many of the things that get categorized under “bad and harmful” are because of our lack of believing the best about others, the scarcity of our striving to understand people, and the insufficiency of seeing what damage we ourselves contribute to relationships with others. We too quickly categorize people as evil, malicious and dangerous, vilifying them without taking the time to understand them.
We need help. People are leaving churches in droves because of hurt from pastors and church leaders. Pastors and church leaders are abandoning ministry as a calling and career in light of the hurt they experience from those they are trying to lead and shepherd. We need a different approach. A certain flavor of church consultation might help.
Church consultation refers to the process of seeking expert advice, guidance, or support to address various challenges and opportunities within a religious organization or community. Church consultation organizations have been around for years helping churches find ways to grow numerically and financially, to evaluate church culture, and to give clues as to what is unhealthy and needs to be remedied. Church consultation teams usually visit the church for 1-3 days and then submit an assessment describing the illness in a church culture like which leaders are unhealthy, and will often include a few recommendations for moving forward. What is often lacking in many church consultations is the plan and fruit of having multiple parties better understand themselves, better understand others, and better understand the ministry system in which they lead and operate.
At Restoration Psychology, our church consultation services aim to serve as a bridge of understanding for all parties involved, fostering an environment that supports reconciliation, restoration, and lasting healing. Based in the greater Denver Metro Area in Centennial, Colorado, our church consultation team is also available to travel to churches beyond our local area.
We invite you to visit our church consultation tab on our website to learn more about how we partner with churches. If your church has any questions or believes it could benefit from consultation services, we encourage you to reach out to us today!