Your mind is spinning, your heart is racing, and maybe your palms are sweating. Okay, I promise not to go into the lyrics of an Eminem song now. But this stressed out feeling is one everyone can relate to. Whether it is brought on by a task at work, something happening in your family, a school assignment, or a friendship gone wrong, sometimes it seems that stress will not leave us alone. Instead of remaining stuck in the hamster wheel of your stress, I want to give you a few practical ways to actually respond to it in the moment.
#1 Regulate Your Body
Instead of using your mind to try to regulate your mind, move down into your body. When it comes to regulating your body, I want you to think in two main categories: breath work and grounding. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Take a deep breath” in response to our overwhelm. This can feel dismissive and unproductive which is probably why my teenage clients often roll their eyes when I try to teach them a new breathing technique. But believe me, the science backs it up, and there are many different ways to use your breathing to combat stress. Not to mention, it is a resource available to you whenever, wherever!
Try this: Inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds (the key is a longer exhale).
Do this for 1-2 minutes.
Now, it is time to add in a grounding component. This skill brings us into the present moment, where we are meant to live but our minds often resist.
Try this: Sit where you are comfortable, yet upright and supported. Plant both feet on the ground and begin to make observations about what is around you. Notice some things that you see, feel with touch, hear, smell, and taste. Don’t rush. Take in much of what is around you that you can.
#2 Contain the Stress
Without limits or structure, our stress threatens to run wild. It needs a container. Here I will outline one example of a containment exercise.
Try this: Write down everything that has been stressing you out at this time. Sort this list into 1) What you can control today 2) What you cannot control today. From here, identify one small action step you can take to help something in the “can control” category. Turn your stress into action. Then give yourself permission to move on for the time being.
#3 Take a 10-Minute Reset
A reset does not require a full day off or even quitting altogether (although maybe you are at that point). My point is, even 10 minutes can change things to help you get through the moment you are in.
Try this: Go for a walk without your phone. Sit outside. Stretch. Take a shower.
This is an intentional pause. It is not an avoidance tactic. We all need the occasional reset to help us return to stressful thing a bit more regulated and prepared to take on what is in front of us.
#4 Externalize the Pressure Inside
Maybe avoidance has long been the name of the game for you. Any stress or sadness or worry? No problem, you’re just going to hide it away and hope it magically goes away. Unfortunately, this is not how our emotions work. Stress grows when it stays inside. You must find a healthy way to “get it out”.
Try this: Record a voice memo on your phone talking through what is stressing you out. Journal using the prompt, “What’s weighing on me right now?” Talk to someone with whom you feel safe.
#5 Lower the Bar
Sometimes our stress comes from an unnecessary and unrealistic expectation of perfectionism. If that is what is hanging over you, you’ll never measure up to it because it is impossible! You are a human with limits. That is good.
Try this: Reframe the source of your stress by asking, “What would ‘good enough’ look like today?” Then, do the next smallest step. Give yourself permission to temporarily lower your expectations.
What Now?
Stress is not something you must eliminate–it is something you learn to respond to differently. If you find yourself experiencing stress today, I encourage you to try just one technique today. And if the stress feels constant or overwhelming, therapy can help you build skills and experience personalized support. Our team of clinicians offer in-person sessions at our centrally-located office in Centennial, CO. If you’re a little further away, don’t worry we also offer virtual sessions. Don’t hesitate any longer, reach out today!